So – I wrote this blog post 3 years ago now and never shared it. Coincidently It must have been at a similar time of year and I think it’s the perfect piece to start my blogging life. I hope to create more frequent posts about a whole range of topics from art, to life, to nonsense. Thanks for following along!
My Art Journey Thus Far
I decided to start writing each morning because I wake up with a mind full of chaos and end up spending the day trying to sort through my thoughts. This way I can get things out on the page and then my mind feels clear. Deciding to share my thoughts was a whole other step, and it came down to the idea that I would love to be reading someone else’s blog that was having similar thoughts to me – I guess the idea that I’m not alone. The one rule of my blog posts is to be fully authentic and honest. Sorry if any of what I post is uncomfortable or not well written, I just have this desire to get these words out and to share them.
So, it’s nearly been a year since I started my Art Journey – officially that is, I suppose I’ve been on this journey my whole life but actually deciding to chase this dream and discover my own skills, that happened in January this year. And what a year it has been. I’ve learnt so much about my own skills, about what I like and what inspires me, about my anxiety and lack of confidence, about how I associated how I looked with how happy I was. That I procrastinate A LOT by watching reality tv, even though I know its not good for me, that to have a more fulfilled happier life I should just face the challenge in front of me, should just do the thing that scares me, rather than avoiding it (which in the short term makes you feel better). This year has been a massive learning curve, a crazy ride that I never want to get off. I want to ride this crazy rollercoaster always, even though for a long time I wanted to be an expert in something (namely Physiotherapy) so I could stop feeling like I didn’t know anything, so I could have all the knowledge and feel comfortable, I now realise that I never want this. Feeling comfortable doesn’t bring excitement and doesn’t bring self improvement.
Instead, I have so many things I want to learn. I have ideas flooding my brain constantly with new things I want to do. I want to learn to knit, to sew, to play guitar, to take beautiful photo’s, to sing, to dance, to surf, to skateboard, to use resin in my art, to frame my own art, to keep plants alive, to be a good girlfriend and partner, to be a good friend, a good daughter, to contribute to the happiness of others - those I love to those I don’t know, to always be aiming to help others.
So many ideas constantly knocking on my brain gives me a feeling of… of… Inspiration? Energy? Excitement? Not sure what to name it but that feeling in your chest that feels like swollen goodness, like a warm hot chocolate on a cold day. That feeling when you wake up in the morning and are instantly awake and jump out of bed due to the many things you want to get done that day. SO MANY THINGS!
Then, I’m nearly a year into my Art Journey and it’s nearly Christmas. There are Christmas markets, there are more sales than usual, people are marketing out the roof, should I be doing more marketing? Stocking up my retail stores more? Updating my website, being active on social media, running sales and promotions. This list goes on and feels like a heavy cloud above my head. To the point where a few weeks ago I decided I needed to step away from the idea of selling my art to the idea of letting my creativeness decide what art I complete – with no rules. None of this “stick to one aesthetic” “one medium” “one colour scheme” “portraiture or landscape” “be consistent with your style to be successful’. Well I say screw that. I started this journey because I find no better peace than painting – at this stage of my life that is my heaven. That is my happiness. My joy. I will always be an Artist because I always will be creating, not because I live off my art. I will be an Artist because it’s in my blood and I love it.
So, do I stop selling my art in this busy time of the year when most creative people sell enough work to keep them alive during the quiet times? Now that’s just business suicide right? I almost just want to go electronically quiet – no social media, no emails, no phone – oh man how I would love to have no phone. Jeepers. Who knows the right answer to this? I guess me, but what I want and what I feel I should do… there it is, that word “should”. YES! ‘Should’ is a word I’ve decided to dislike. That word kept me in a university course I wasn’t 100 percent enjoying. I should finish because I’m half way through. I should keep going because I might enjoy the work, even though I don’t enjoy the placements. I should keep going because it’s a good career and will give me money. I should keep going because I like helping people and this career helps me do that. I shouldn’t quit my job because I’ve just brought a house. I shouldn’t quit because I need the money to travel. I should stay for 1 more year. SHOULD.
Decision made, no more focus on selling work. If it happens great, if not great. I’m still an artist either way. And right now – I need the focus to be on creating. Lets tick of some of those things I want to learn this summer √