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Compare the Pair

It's funny how one minute you can be celebrating a win, whether that be in career or life, then the next minute you see someone else achieving something 'better' and you're back to square one. It is so hard in this day and age not to compare yourself to others, and even though I'm aware of this, aware that social media platforms only show the highs (mostly), that you never know whats happening behind closed doors, whats real or whats fake, it's still very hard not to compare yourself to others and feel your wins just aren't good enough.

I'm really struggling with being grateful for my wins and sitting comfortably in that win, enjoying it, soaking it all up, before moving on to the next goal. At the moment, this process is lasting less than a few minutes. Not ideal. I try and go back and remind myself how great it is that I sold 2 original paintings today, that 2 years ago it would take me 6 months to sell 2; That I currently have 4 commission's in the works; that this year my pre-sale of calendars was at 15 the day after I advertised, when 2 years ago I sold a total of 10; That my skills have improved so much and I'm far more comfortable telling people I am an artist and having confidence in my work. I try and reflect and appreciate how far I've come, but I cannot seem to hold onto that before I sink into that knot in my chest that tells me I need to do more, that I should be doing more, achieving more.

Maybe that's what its like to be driven? That when you achieve that goal you set for yourself, you quickly move on to the next. This is a subject I need to learn more about, the human psyche and why I cannot fully enjoy my wins. Things that have helped me so far;

1. Not mindlessly scrolling on social media. I've started setting up times that I can go through my social media and am trying not to get on first thing in the morning or late at night. This is difficult with social media being my biggest advertising tool. I've tried turning off my notifications but I need them on so I can promptly reply to messages.... Soo this is still a challenge....

2. Meditating regularly. When I meditate regularly I feel more grounded and appreciate the smaller things and the small achievements more. The challenge is to create time and space to do this. But yes it does help.

3. Actually celebrating wins. Whether that be taking an hour to read a mag, buying something extra nice for dinner, having a nice wine, taking Ruby for a swim. Do something that I really enjoy to celebrate the win. I don't do this enough but am adding it in more.

4. Regularly moving. Dancing, running, working out. Just moving my body helps me to feel good and gives my mind more clarity and helps me to be more present in the moment.

5. Gratitude. I'm beginning to think that Gratitude is the answer to life's happiness. It seems to me that the people who have genuine gratitude for the things in their life, for their health, for their family, for their situation, seem to be more in tune with their ability to celebrate their achievements and be more present in each day. Is gratitude something you are born in abundance with or lack of? Is it situational, like when you suffer losses at a young age or struggles, that when you get older you really appreciate the smaller things and how far you've come? Is it something that can grow with practice? I hate to admit it but I am not as grateful as I should be, I have been blessed with being raised in a middle class, wholesome family, have had many opportunities in life, have travelled, have loved, am a white woman. So whether I like to admit it or not, I've lived a life of luxury. Yet it is embarrassing to stay I don't give enough gratitude and thanks to my family, my upbringing, my friends, the opportunities that I have been given. I'm beginning to write a gratitude diary most days (trying everyday) to tap into this emotion and re sync my brain to start being more appreciative for the life and opportunities I have.

So basically, I am aware that comparing myself and my journey to others is not helpful, but I am still learning of ways to avoid this behaviour and tap into things more regularly that will help me.

I'd love to know things other people do to avoid the cycle of comparison, please leave a comment if you have any suggestions!

Thanks in advance,

Nic xx

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